Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

Hubby

I mentioned this briefly in Friday’s post, but I believe it deserves its own post. Hubby is doing much, much better. I am beyond grateful for all of your encouraging words, positive thoughts, and prayers for my husband. He is my absolute favorite person in the whole world, and it was killing me to watch him suffer. He still isn’t 100% (honestly, we don’t really know what his 100% will look like now), but he is able to sleep through the night and go to work. He is also able to eat fairly normally now (read: able to eat more that plain chicken and couscous). It is wonderful to be able to goof off with him, and I love that he is my playful husband again.

On a different but related note: Hubby is now officially on the volunteer list for the city fire department. This may not seem like a big deal, but it is. Right now hubby is part of a volunteer department, and he has been working very hard for the past year and a half to get all of his certifications so he can join a paid department and be a full-time firefighter. The first step to joining the city fire department is getting on the volunteer list, and they actually do all of their hiring directly from this list. So this is basically his chance to show them how much he has learned and how dedicated he is to being a firefighter (which I can tell you that he is pretty darn dedicated). We still don’t know how long it will be before they will hire some of the volunteers, but this is a big step in the right direction.

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Unsolicited Advice

I know I’ve already posted today, but these things come in spurts, so just bear with me :o)

Hubby’s Crohn’s diagnosis has taught me something. It seems like everyone we talk to knows someone with Crohn’s and knows the surgery, treatment, supplement, diet, miracle cure that will fix my husband. Everyone wants to introduce him to someone who has Crohn’s or lend him a book or tell him about their research or give him a doctor’s phone number. No one seems to care that we’ve actually done our own research and we are already starting a treatment plan with his doctor or that we don’t want to talk to a bunch of complete strangers about my husband’s small intestines. In everyone’s attempt to help him, they are annoying me to the point that it is actually starting to piss me off, and last night I said something to hubby: This is like infertility. The only real difference is that people are more willing to talk about it and don’t say stupid things like, “just relax” or “you’re still young, don’t worry about it yet.”

So I’m trying to find out a way to kindly tell people to shove off. Not telling people about hubby’s condition is not really an option because he is noticeably sick. He has lost fifty pounds since October and is down to his middle school weight, and people tend to notice that. He also walks hunched over and visibly winces in pain on a regular basis.

On a positive note, hubby started Hu.mira yesterday. The first time he takes it, he has to take four shots. So he injected himself with $10,000 worth of medication yesterday. I feel a little sick just thinking about it, but I’m so grateful that we qualified for the co-pay assistance which means we only payed $5 for those four shots. The nurse said he should be feeling better in a few days, and we are both hoping for an awesome placebo effect so he can feel better immediately. He did say that he felt a little better this morning, but he was still in a lot of pain.

I just want my husband to feel better. It breaks my heart to see him so weak and discouraged. Sometimes I have to hold back tears when I hear him grunt in pain. Please, please let this drug help him.

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Frustrated

Remember how I said that hubby has Crohn’s and he will be starting Hu.mira to help him? Yeah, that hasn’t happened yet. He got his prescription on the 9th of this month, and he will finally get his medicine on Tuesday, an entire month after he first went to see the doctor. First, we had to wait for him to get his TB test, which he couldn’t do on a Thursday or Friday because it has to be read two days later and can’t be read on Saturday or Sunday, so it was a whole week before he was done with that. Then, we had to deal with the insurance company and prove to them that he actually needs this medication and no other medication will work. Then, we had to contact the drug company because our co-pay was $1,000 for two shots (which is a month’s worth of medicine). Seriously? Why the hell do we even have insurance if it doesn’t actually make it so we can afford our medical care?  Anyway, the drug company has a co-pay assistance program that will basically waive the cost of the co-pay so that we only have to pay $5 for every month. Once we finally got that worked out yesterday, we have to wait until Tuesday because the shots are overnighted from a special pharmacy. It was too late to send it yesterday, and they don’t ship Fri-Sun, so they are sending it Monday and we should get it Tuesday.

Meanwhile, my big bad husband who never complains is constantly wincing in pain and has even cried quite a few times because he hurts, he’s tired, and he’s frustrated with the whole process. I really just want my husband to feel better and do the things he loves (like respond to fire calls), and I feel so angry and helpless about this whole process.

Not every day has been bad, though. He had a really good weekend, and he even initiated some sexy time on Sunday for the first time in a month. Consequently, I ovulated the next day, so we’re not writing off this month like I had previously thought. Maybe we’ll get a one-hit-wonder baby this month… I’m not getting my hopes up, but I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Anyway, if you are a praying person, please pray that hubby starts feeling better ASAP after he starts his shot on Tuesday. The first time he takes it, he actually has to take four. Then he takes two the next time, then just one every time (he’ll take it twice a month). If you are not a praying person, please send healing vibes and good juju his way.

On a completely different note, make sure to email me your project before tomorrow if you want to participate in the Little Miss Craftypants Challenge. It doesn’t have to be anything big or complicated, but we would love to have as many people crafting with us as possible!

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Being Sickly, and Writing Prompts

Hello ladies! Sorry to be MIA for a few days–I really haven’t felt that great. I’ve been dealing with allergy/sinus gunk which leads to headaches, back tension, general miserableness. I actually stayed home from work yesterday because I had a migraine and felt achy. Today is, thankfully, better, but I still feel like I’m on the edge of being sick–like letting myself get a little dehydrated or something will push me over the edge into another migraine. Bleh. Oh well. Also, I’m a little freaked out because I’ve been spotting for a few days. The only time I can ever remember spotting midcycle, I was pregnant, and I’m fairly certain that is not the case this cycle because we have been actively preventing pregnancy. I know your cycles and stuff can be completely different once you have a pregnancy or miscarriage, but it’s weird to have my body behaving differently than it normally does. Any other RPLers out there that have had something like this happen? It would be nice to know I’m not the only one whose body does weird things after having a few mc’s, and to be honest, I just don’t have the emotional strength right now to Google it.

I was going to use this post to get completely caught up on the writing prompts, but I think I will answer three today and three tomorrow. You know, spread the love over two days:

 

October 20: Tell us a little something about your grandmother.
My grandmother was an amazing woman. She died when I was a senior in college, and I still miss her like crazy. She loved to cook and sew–one of my most prized possessions is a quilt she made for me when I started college. She always cried when we left her house after we visited. When I was younger, I thought it was silly and embarrassing, and when I was older I pretty much ignored it because I was so used to it. Now I miss it.

 
October 21: Are you satisfied with your sex life? Would you like more, less, or is it just right?
I would have to say that I’m pretty satisfied with the sex that we are having, but I wish we would have sex more. We always seem to be super busy, so are we are both exhausted all the time, which makes it hard to muster up the energy for a good tumble.

 
October 22: Favorite sexual position?
I feel like this is a good time to tell you ladies that I blush very easily. I don’t have a problem talking about sex or other taboo topics, but I will turn very red sometimes. I just thought you should know that I started blushing as I thought about what I should put down as my answer ;o) I’d have to say that I really enjoy being on top, because that is the position where it is the easiest for me to have a orgasm, but I really like it when hubby goes down on me, which he is usually eager to do because he knows I like it.

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