Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

Community

Lately I’ve been wondering what role this blog needs to play in my life while hubby and I are taking a break from TTC. I wonder if I am really letting myself step back and take a break when I am still reading, posting, and surrounding myself with this world. In wondering this, I have begun to really evaluate what this community means to me and what role it plays in my life.

I love having support from people who understand (at least on some level–everyone’s story is different) what I am going through, and I love knowing that I can be that support to some other people. It always amazes me how much love and encouragement I can receive just from a comment on a post or an email from someone else in the community, and lately I’ve been trying to make the effort to leave some love on the posts that I read. Every time I read about a BFP or a birth, I get so excited and celebrate for that couple. It gives me hope, and I truly feel joy for them because I know the road that they have traveled to get to that BFP was long and hard.

But being part of this community is also heartbreaking. I feel a connection with some of these couples, and I will cheer and hope and pray so hard for them. But sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes my WP reader is full of BFN’s, failed IVF’s and FET’s, and miscarriages. It’s easy to feel hopeless when you are surrounded by these stories, and sometimes it is so hard to deal with other couples’ losses when I’m already dealing with my own. But you what? That’s what community is all about: sharing joy and sharing pain. It’s about encouragement and commiseration. It’s about letting yourself care about people enough that your heart will break for them. It’s about posting funny stuff that will brighten everyone’s day.

This community is important to me, and I plan on sticking around, even when we aren’t currently TTC.

Speaking of funny stuff, because we want to give my body time to heal and I’m not emotionally ready for another pregnancy right now, we are preventing pregnancy. Believe me, the irony is not lost on us. Anyway, little Miss Molly likes to get into the trashcan in our bathroom, and while we usually are good about keeping the door shut and keeping her out of the bathroom, she still manages to get into to it every once in awhile. Earlier this week, I was outside with her and saw something weird when she pooped. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it was a condom. Oh my goodness. We are now buying a new trashcan with a lid.

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Getting so big!

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In the last picture I posted of Molly, she was just over six weeks old. In this picture, she is eight weeks and she is growing so fast! Look at those paws–she is going to be huge! For the record, yes, having a puppy is really helping me deal with everything. It was a very good idea.

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Molly

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I just had to post a picture of our little bundle of joy. Don’t have any kids, so I have to brag on my furbaby. We picked her up a week ago and she has done great! Love her :)

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Our Newest Family Member

So what do you do when you are sad and frustrated because it is almost August, which will mark a year since you started trying to have a baby? You get a puppy. Everyone, meet Molly:

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Molly is a Australian Shepherd and Labrador mix that we are getting from a woman I work with. We won’t get to take her home for a few more weeks because she is only 4 weeks old, but I can’t wait until she is ours. I’m really looking forward to training her, having a buddy to walk with, and a puppy to snuggle. Hubby didn’t even put up a fight–he immediately agreed and said that he thought it would be good for me. I know she will be a lot of work, but I could really use the distraction. I know it won’t get rid of that need to love and raise a baby, but it might help curb it a little until we get everything figured out. Then, once we have a baby, he or she will have a friend to play with–every kid needs a dog. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am :)

I know I promised in my first post to give some background information about our journey, and I’m planning on telling a little bit of our story at the end of each post. So now that I’ve told you all about Molly, let me tell you about our first appointment. After we had tried a few months, I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and started charting my cervical mucus and basal temperature. I noticed that my average temperature was fairly low (about 96.3) and that my luteal phase was only about nine days long. I could also tell from my charting that hubby and I were definitely having sex at the right time when I was ovulating, but I wasn’t getting pregnant. So I made an appointment with my OBGYN in February where I showed him my charts and told him I thought I had a progesterone problem. He smiled at me and told me that they don’t do any fertility testing until a couple has been trying for a year. He suggested that I buy some OPKs and come back in six months. It was so frustrating–I felt like he didn’t hear a single thing I said. I just knew there was something wrong with me and if my OBGYN wouldn’t take me seriously, I honestly believed I couldn’t get pregnant until after he saw me again in August.

Has anyone else had the frustrating experience of an OBGYN that just wouldn’t listen? Or have you been told that you can’t have any testing until you have been trying for a year? Is anyone else guilty of getting a new pet to help you deal with fertility problems or a loss?

-Danielle

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