Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

IF Bloggers Book Club: Hind’s Feet on High Places

When I got the results of my second beta during my last pregnancy, I was devastated. The next day I went to a good friend’s house, and she hugged me and asked how I was doing. That was all it took for me to basically collapse on her floor and sit and sob and pour my heart out for a very long time with her and two of her friends. I was a little embarrassed, but I’m glad it happened because it was very healing to open up to someone besides hubby, and it was so nice to have them validate my feelings and encourage me without giving me any lines about “what is meant to be” or any other bullshit like that. Anyway, my friend then handed me this book and told me I need to read it–she even said I could keep it:

This is an allegory about Much Afraid and her journey to the High Places to be with the Shepherd. Before I tell you anything else about this book, I have to make a confession. It’s something that might be obvious to those who know me, but it’s hard to admit and I’m willing to bet some of you reading this blog could confess the same thing: I’m a wallower. I wallow in self-pity, sadness, pain. I’m really bad at letting stuff go, and I would usually rather just be miserable. Because I’m a wallower, anything that encourages me to move on, heal, etc. usually pisses me off. Having said that, this book did not piss me off, and it actually helped me immensely. It is so full of love, and it presents huge concepts in such simple terms making it easier for me to relate to them. So it technically could be a light, simplistic read, but if you choose to really read into it and see the deeper meanings, it can be pretty heavy. There were many times that I had to put it down and just absorb what I had just read. There were also times that I had to put it down and just cry for awhile. It is a beautiful book, and I plan on reading it again and again. I’m sure it’s not for everyone, but I recommend giving it a try.

Make sure you go and check out these other bloggers and their book posts!

Songs and Sonnets

Return to Go

Dog Mom Chasing the Stork

Future Fords

If you want to participate in the IF Bloggers Book Club this next month, either comment on this post with the book/books you want to read or send me an email ( letting me know. I will put up a post next week with the participants. I’m thinking the “due date” for the posts will be November 16. Let me know if that’s a problem.

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A much needed and fun vacation, and a new life plan

Hello! I’m sorry I haven’t written in awhile–I’ve just been so distracted. I know I have a bunch of October writing prompts to catch up on, but I want to tell you all about what has been going on first. I’ll start by telling you about my wonderful weekend! I took a vacation day from work on Friday and spent Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in Nashville at the Southern Festival of Books. It was wonderful. I was surrounded by authors and people who truly care about books and reading, and it really reminded me about what is important to me and my passion. I also got to feel very strong and self-sufficient because I went alone, and I didn’t have hubby to lean on for directions or anything. Solitary travel isn’t something I have gotten to experience since I was in Germany, and I had forgotten how much I actually enjoy it. I stayed with a friend from college who lives in Murfreesboro, and it was so much fun to hang out and catch up–plus we went to a beer fest on Saturday night which was really fun. The best part? I got to meet Katherine Paterson, who is my favorite children’s author! For those of you who don’t know who she is, she wrote The Bridge to TerabithaThe Great Gilly HopkinsJacob Have I Loved, and loads of other awesome books. She is basically amazing.

Another great thing about going to this festival is that it really motivated me. I remember now just how much I love literature, and how much I love to learn. I always wanted to work in a college as a professor, and my original plan was to go the grad school and get my doctorate in order to teach at the collegiate level. Life, however, got in the way of that plan. This trip was just the kick start that I needed, and while I can’t give up 5-7 years of my life to a doctoral program right now, I have decided that I am going to go back to school. I’m applying to the Masters program at the local university! I’m so excited that we are finally in a place where this can happen because I love going to school: class discussions, reading books I would have never thought to read, learning about things that matter to me, I could go on for quite awhile.

So now I am spending my time working on my application, asking for letters of recommendation, studying for the GRE, editing out an excerpt from my thesis for my writing sample, working on my statement of purpose, etc. The deadline is January 15th, which seems like a long time from now, but it doesn’t leave me a lot of time to study for and take to GRE. I’m still too excited to start freaking out, but I’m sure that will come soon :o)

On an IF/loss note: I have officially finished my first AF post-miscarriage. I has definitely given me a feeling of “moving on” which is great in some ways and very sad in others. Today I saw a picture of the girl who found out she was pregnant at the same time I  found out about my first pregnancy. She’s 27 weeks. Broke. My. Heart. I’m excited about where my life is going right now, but I’m homesick for my children that I will never meet. I’ve accepted it, but I am still so sad. At the book festival, there was someone dressed up as Clifford to celebrate his “birthday,” and some kids were singing happy birthday to him with their moms. I had to walk by very quickly because it made me cry. One day at a time.

I promise I will catch up with you some more soon!

Also, the posts for the IF Bloggers Book Club is “due” Friday. Is that ok with everyone, or do you need another week?


IF Bloggers Book Club: October books

Here’s an update on our October readers! To read more about to IF Bloggers Book Club, click here. Our book posts will be due on the 19th, but if you guys need to push it back a week or something, let me know. Wahoo! I’m excited :o)

Storkchaser is planning on reading the Unbecoming of Mara Dyer.

Kristin is planning on reading one of these:
1. The Sojourn; What Dies in Summer
2. Where’d You Go Bernadette: A Novel
3. Beautiful Ruins

Songs and Sonnets is planning on reading one of these:
1. The Woman in Black by Susan Hill
2. When God Was a Rabbit by Sarah Winman
3. The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
But it is looking like she most likely narrowed it down to The Screwtape Letters

Jenn is planning on reading one of these:
1. The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
2. Lies My Teacher Told Me by James Loewen
3. The Paris Wife by Paula Mclain

Here is my list:
1. Mysteries of Udolpho
2. The Life and Opinions of Tristam Shandy, Gentleman
3. Hinds Feet on High Places (someone recommended this to me after my last mc).

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Last Call!

As of today, I have two people (apart from myself) that have told me they are interested in participating in the IF Bloggers Book Club. If you would like to join in the fun, please comment or send me an email  at Remember that you don’t have to commit to one book right now–you can give a short list of books you want to read and just write about one of them. Also, if you do pick one book, you are welcome to change your mind. I know a bunch of the women in this community are so hyped up on fertility drugs that their book of choice may change a few times ;o)

Storkchaser is planning on reading the Unbecoming of Mara Dyer. I think she’s awesome and brave for actually narrowing it down to one book!

Kristin gave me a short list. She is planning on reading one of these: The Sojourn; What Dies in Summer; Where’d You Go Bernadette: A Novel; or Beautiful Ruins.

I’ve had a  few books on my to-read list. Here are a few: Mysteries of Udolpho; The Life and Opinions of Tristam Shandy, Gentleman;  and Hinds Feet on High Places (someone recommended this to me after my last mc). I may read one of these, but I’ll let you know if I find something that I have to read NOW (it happens more often than you would think).

Let me know if you want to join! Book posts are due October 19th, and I will post a link to these posts sometime around then :o)





Yesterday I completed step one of my plan to take my life back from fertility issues and loss. My poor wardrobe needed to be updated last fall (I only had one pair of jeans that fit…), but I powered through thinking that I would be pregnant soon, and I decided that after three mc’s, I would allow myself to go out and spend the money this year. I had a long list of things I needed, and I went out armed with $260, hoping that I could find some good deals and get most of the stuff on my list with that amount. I bought 3 sweaters, 1 sweater dress, 2 long sleeved shirts, 2 pairs of jeans, 1 jean skirt, 3 camisoles, 1 pair of leggings, 3 bras, and 5 pairs of underwear. The total damage? $240. Success! Now I just need some new shoes…

On to step two! We are in the process of some house updates. Little Miss Molly is almost big enough to start leaving outside during the day, so we are trying to prepare for that. This includes making sure that the fence doesn’t have any escape holes under it, putting lattice under the back deck to keep her from getting into the mud under there, building a doghouse of sorts, and building a wooden gate to keep her from getting on the deck around the pool (I am terrified that she is going to fall in the pool because our friend’s dog drowned in an above ground pool). We built the gate this weekend and will be hanging it tonight. I’ve always had indoor dogs and the thought of leaving her outside makes me a little nervous, but she loves being outside and it is better for her than being cooped up in a crate all day.

I also made some progress on step three: my old Taekwondo instructor did a demo to earn his 7th degree black belt on Saturday, and I went to watch. I got to see a bunch of people that I haven’t seen since I quit, and I realized just how much I miss it. I’m so glad I went because I found out that one of the instructors has started a school close to where I work, and he is going to send me some info on it. So I might be getting back in the game! Wahoo! I can’t wait to put on my uniform and gear and start fighting again–it is the only way to work out :o) Tyler (the instructor who started the school) said that he doesn’t actually do adult classes and his oldest student right now is sixteen, but I would be welcome to come train with him and maybe even start helping teach again. I’ll take it.

It’s amazing the turns your life can take when you decide to start living again :o)

Don’t forgot to send me your book/books for the IF Bloggers Book Club–they are due Friday!


IF Bloggers Book Club!

So if you read this post, you know that I’m taking my life back, and one of the things I’ve planned to do is replace useless, stressful Google searching with reading real books. I have always loved reading–my mom is a librarian so I was raised reading good books. In college, I realized just how much I love classic literature and I earned a BA in English literature. A couple of my favorites include A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, The Monk by Matthew Gregory Lewis, and The Last Temptation of Christ by Nikos Kazantzakis. Yeah, I’m one of those people. I also absolutely love the Harry Potter series. I read the first book in the fourth grade before anyone knew about Harry Potter and there wasn’t a second book yet, and the last book came out the summer after my freshman year of college. So my childhood was really wrapped up in the series, and rereading the books gives me a comforting, homey feeling.

When I first graduated college, I worked at the local library and read some popular series like The Girl with Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson and The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I enjoyed branching out a little, but my heart will always be with the classics.

So, now that you all know a little more about me and my love affair with books, let’s talk about the IF Bloggers Book Club! I’m not entirely sure what this will look like yet, but here is what I’ve come up with so far:

  • To participate, you read at least one book a month and write a post about it on a predetermined day. I’m thinking about choosing a day in the middle of the month? I know the completed pin pictures for Storkchaser’s Lazy Pinner’s Challenge are due at the end of the month, and I don’t want bloggers stressing about finishing pins and writing a book post. So the October post will be…the 19th? Would that work for everyone?
  • You can read any book you want, but the book you choose has to be a book you’ve never read before. Don’t cheat and write a post about a book you read years ago.
  • You can write whatever you want in your post: a summary of the book, how much you loved/ hated it, expand on a theme that means something to you, get creative with some fan fiction, etc.
  • After everyone has posted, I will make a post linking to all of the book posts.

Everyone can send me an email ( or comment on this post letting me know 1) That you want to participate and 2) What book you are thinking about reading. If you are not sure yet which book you are going to read, you can list a couple of different books to choose from, and if you change your mind or hate the book you chose, you can always pick a different one. I just would like to have an idea of what kinds of books everyone will read :o) I’ll give everyone a week to make their books choices, so please let me know by the 28th. If you guys want to change anything or if you have a good idea to make this book club awesome, just let me know!


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