Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

Still Here

on February 9, 2015

I’ve spent a lot of time lately wondering about this space. This blog was my way of dealing with loss and pain, and I don’t know if I could have survived without it and the community that I have found. Now that I have my precious little Squish, I’m not sure what to do with it.

I would come to this blog in times of depression. In times of fear. In times of survival. In times of hopelessness. But I’m not so sure how to express myself now that I am happy. I’m not saying being a new parent is all sunshine all the time–it’s stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting, but I am so thankful that we have made it to this place and that we have a healthy baby that writing about how hard it is seems petty and somehow dishonest to the joy that he has brought into my life. I also have a real fear of sounding ungrateful or of hurting those who are still in the trenches by talking about how hard motherhood can be.

But I can also see how beneficial this space can still be. I would like a place to talk about how difficult it is to recover physically from giving birth or how going back to school less than two weeks after having a child totally sucks.

And I feel like I owe all of you. You’ve helped me so much, and I feel like I need to share him with you because of that. You shared the burden of my losses with me, so I want to share my joy with you.

So I’m not promising more than the occasional update, but I want you to know that I’m not going away. I’ve faithfully kept up with my reader and your stories, and I’ll still pop in every once in awhile to share mine.


2 responses to “Still Here

  1. clwalchevill says:

    One of the things that caught me off guard was the emotions of parenting after IF. Infertility has forever changed me, but there is a lot of healing that’s come with finally parenting.

    Do with this space what you need to. For some, this means only the occasional update. For others, this means taking a different direction. But ultimately this space is for you. Including the sunshine.

  2. It’s your space, so you get to do with it what you want. While you may experience some guilt for moving to the other side of infertility, the fact is that’s the goal for everyone! I hope you do continue to share, as stories of those who are now parenting give me so much hope!
    Love to you as you figure out your next steps in the blogging world.

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