Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

Scarlet Letter

on June 3, 2013

Thank you so much for your kind comments. I’ve read and reread all of them, and I am very thankful for this community.

I finally filled my prescription yesterday. I wanted to wait until things passed naturally, but I really did not want to start passing everything at work one day this week, so I decided to go ahead and get it over with yesterday. Needless to say, when I walked into the pharmacy, I was upset and distracted. That might explain why I didn’t realize what was happening until I left. When the pharm tech was typing in the prescription, he asked me quite a few questions. First, he asked me which doctor wrote me the prescription and which office she is with. I thought that was a little weird because that information was on the prescription, but I answered his questions figuring maybe he was new or something or maybe they had a new policy where they have to double check that information. Then he asked, “Do you understand what this is? Did your doctor talk to you about this?” I answered that my doctor explained everything to me, thinking this was a weird variation of the “Do you have any questions about your prescription” question that I always get. It wasn’t until I was walking out and looked down at the coupon that came out with the receipt that I understood his questions. It wasn’t a coupon. It was an advertisement for Gerber that the machine automatically printed with that prescription. That’s when it hit me that the medication I was about to take is the same thing as the abor.tion pill. The tech thought I was getting an abor.tion. His questions revealed that he obviously disagreed with my “decision” but could not voice his concern because it would endanger his job.

I don’t think I need to explain to this community just how upsetting I found this whole situation. I got out to my car and just sat and cried for awhile before I drove home. When I told hubby about it, he got really mad and said I should have complained, but technically the man did not say anything inappropriate to me. It was almost all tone of voice and facial expression, and I really could have just read into it because I was upset and hormonal (although I’m positive that I didn’t).

I know I shouldn’t care what others think, but after all that we’ve been through and how much I struggled with the idea of medically inducing this miscarriage despite the fact that my baby already died, I really just hate that man for judging me. Seriously, why don’t you just give me a scarlet letter while you are making assumptions about me?

Has anyone had an experience similar to this?

As a side note, I learned yesterday that medically induced miscarriages are very different from natural ones. I won’t go into details, but I will say that I found one perk to having a husband with Crohn’s: readily available painkillers. When I spoke to her Friday, my midwife offered to call  me in a prescription for some painkillers, but I figured I’ve been through this three times already and I would be fine. I was wrong.

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6 responses to “Scarlet Letter

  1. Nat says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss :((((. I had a miscarriage 10 days ago at 12 weeks. I had the exact same experience with my pharmacist and I know how it feels…

  2. steph50 says:

    I went through something similar… One tech asked the pharmacist loud enough for me to hear why someone would need to take a stomac pill vaginally. Akward… Then the pharmacist had to ask me how far along I was and all that… Terrible experience! Thinking of you, my friend! xox

  3. Theresa says:

    Hugs. I’m so sorry the pharmacist acted like that. As If you don’t have enough on your plate

  4. I’m so sorry about the stupid pharmacist. I would really like to kick his ass right now. What he did was NOT appropriate.

    (hugs)

  5. SM says:

    That’s horrible! When my 11w6d miscarriage happened I got the same response from a pharmacist. I managed to tell the pharmacist very loudly that I was trying to pass my dead baby so I didn’t have to have him cut out of me before I burst into tears. The look on his face and his stuttering apologies were enough to satisfy me a little. People just need to learn to shut their mouths and keep their judgments to a minimum.

  6. Sarah says:

    That is seriously so horrible that you had to go through that at the pharmacy. I know with my losses I am in a state of almost tears at all times…if someone would have said anything like that to me I would have lost it.

    So sorry you were hurting both emotionally and physically.

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