Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

Thank You and an Update

on May 8, 2013

Thank you so much for all of the lovely comments last week. I feel so supported and loved by all of you, and I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate your prayers. Please keep them coming. Just as a warning, this will be a pregnancy-heavy post, so feel free to skip it if you can’t handle it right now.

I’ve got a lot on my mind that I want to share, so I’m going to go with bullets so I don’t have to think as hard about making this post flow:

  • I’ll start by saying that I’m still pregnant, which is a pretty big deal for me. I had already miscarried by this point with my first two pregnancies, and once Saturday rolls around, it will be the longest I have ever been pregnant.
  • Symptoms are coming and going, but the one that has caught me by surprise and required the most adjustment is the insomnia. I’m a good sleeper who usually goes to bed early and sleeps until my alarm (and then hits the snooze button a few times). I’m also usually good about going back to sleep if I am woken up, but this has changed. Ever since 8 or 9 dpo, I wake up around 4:30 (a solid two hours before my alarm) every morning, and I will lay in bed awake for at least an hour if I wake up for any reason during the night. It’s a bit annoying, but I’m starting to adjust to it and try to take that time to pray, take deep breaths, and enjoy the fact that I am pregnant.
  • I called the birth center on Monday to get a refill on my progesterone. I really, really didn’t want to call yet, but I had to have my pills! I got to speak to the midwife directly, and we discussed my decision to forgo betas because I find them incredibly stressful and they won’t save my baby. She was totally cool with it but said that I could come get a blood draw at any time if I change my mind. We also scheduled an ultrasound for later this month so we can check the dates of the pregnancy and see the heartbeat. I will be 6w6d.
  • I’ve done a fairly good job of staying calm and not panicking, but the fear still bubbles up at times when my temp isn’t as high as I would like it to be or my symptoms subside for awhile. I talked myself down from the crazy ledge this morning by taking another test. The test line showed up immediately–before the pee even got to the control line, and then it got super dark.  So that was encouraging. I figure you have to be pretty darn pregnant to get that kind of result from a dollar store cheapy.

I guess that’s all for now. Just holding on to faith, hope, and love!

 

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7 responses to “Thank You and an Update

  1. Amanda says:

    Yay! This is great news! I really respect your “no beta” thing. For me, I’m always after the information… not knowing would kill me. But I also think that I often act as if having the info will change something. Like, we have sex every other day anyway, so will OPK’s or BBT’s make any difference? No, probably not, but I’ve just GOT to know. But I love that you recognize what you can and can’t handle! Take care of yourself!

    • Thanks! I was also in the camp of needing to know–for some reason I thought that early tests and knowing everything would save my pregnancies, but that was obviously not true. I’m trying a new method this time around.

  2. expectantmummy says:

    Wonderful wishing you a happy and uneventful pregnancy xxxx

  3. Belle says:

    I don’t know HOW I missed this! First, congratulations! Second, I’m immensely proud of your positive mindset. Nothing about the first few weeks of pregnancy is easy. If I ever am so lucky as to see another two lines, I hope I can be half as calm as you are! Finally, careful with the pee sticks. I got a bummed box this pregnancy that gave me much fainter lines and it caused a lot of unnecessary heartache. Hang in there and know this is a safe spot for you to come and express any hopes, fears and joys. Myself, the Professor and the cats are all praying for you guys. xoxo

    • Thank you so much, Belle :o) Keeping a positive mindset hasn’t been easy–it has taken a lot of prayer, encouragement, and self pep talks.
      Thanks also for the words of wisdom about the peesticks. After that dark line made me feel so much better, I could see how a faint one could be devastating.
      All prayers are appreciated, especially kitty ones!

  4. Kelly says:

    Hi. It’s been a while since I’ve sent you a message. But, I wanted you to hear an encouraging story. The last time I wrote you, I think I had just had my second miscarriage. After that, I had a third (all within 6 months). As you know, it was devastating. My husband and I went to therapy together and we decided to quit trying for a while. He was worried about me. I was falling into a depression. We made an appointment with an infertility specialist and we were waiting for our appointment to roll around. Then it happened…we made a “mistake” and I got pregnant again. Instead of feeling happy, I was so heartbroken. Day by day, I almost just tried to pretend I wasn’t pregnant…I wouldn’t even talk about it and I would not refer to the baby as “a baby”. Then the weeks started passing, the shock of seeing her on the ultrasounds. Every time we went I was prepared for the worst and every time she was perfect! Then the months started passing and I’m realizing….WOW, we are actually going to have a baby, for real this time. Now, I’m 34 weeks and every day I thank God for this miracle baby girl that is kicking the crap out of me and giving me horrible heart burn. I love it, every minute of it. I wish you the best of luck and I’ll be praying for you.

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