Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

Catching up

on March 19, 2013

First of all, thank you so much for your support on my last post. Although I’m a little ashamed of just how bitter I sounded, I appreciate all of you validating my feelings. I guess it just goes to show that people say dumb things no matter what you are going through, whether it be infertility, loss, or even Crohn’s disease. Life lesson learned.

I have a few things I wanted to post, so I’m going to go with bullet points today:

  • Hubby has been doing much better since the ER trip. I’m learning that this pattern of feeling good one day, then having the worst pain of your life the next day, then going back to feeling better the next is fairly typical for Crohn’s. I’m also learning that the frustration, helplessness, and anger that I am feeling is normal, and it is ok to break down every once in awhile. I called a good friend on Friday and cried over the phone with her, and it helped me realize that it’s ok to be emotional and upset–that I don’t have to be an unwavering tower of strength for my husband. You would think that I would have figured this out a little sooner because I have been saying that hubby is allowed to be upset about the IF/loss that we have experienced, but I guess I’m a slow learner.
  • I got into grad school. I’m really excited and proud of myself, but I’m not doing a celebration dance just yet because I was put on a wait list for an assistantship. Which means that my school may or may not be paid for, and I may or may not get the resume-boosting experience. Right now, hubby is of the opinion that where there is a will, there is a way, but I’m not sure how we are going to make it happen without that assistance. Especially when we have medical bills piling up (just when we are almost done paying the bills from my miscarriage). It’s actually looking like we will reach our 2013 out-of-pocket limit this month, which I think is fairly impressive.
  • It’s been awhile since I’ve done an update on my lady parts, so here it is (disclaimer, in-depth period talk ahead): I had a normal period for the first time since I was on BC, and I’m freaking out about it. Ok, freaking out is a little bit of an exaggeration, but I am quite perplexed. On day 29, AF started. It just started, which I thought was weird because I usually have three to five days of spotting before it actually arrives. Then it lasted four days. This is unheard of. Mine usually last a week to a week and a half–and that isn’t counting the spotting that happens before it actually starts. I mentioned to hubby that it was over and he looked at me like I had grown another head and said, “But didn’t it just start a few days ago?” Also, it was blissfully light–it only filled my diva cup about a third of the way every twelve hours (as opposed to completely filling it every six to eight hours). Apparently, this is what “normal” periods look like, and I would be ecstatic if I wasn’t so weirded out by it. Maybe it’s a sign of good things to come?

Those are the biggest things happening in our life right now. The most important thing is that in the midst of everything that is going on, I’m still feeling very hopeful. I just know that things are going to work out, even though I don’t know what it will look like. I’m frustrated, tired, and impatient, but I’m hopeful. I think a lot of that has to do with the beautiful weather we’ve been having–it just lifts my spirits. Spring is trying its very best to settle into East Tennessee, and I am beyond ready for it! It also has to do with the amazing amount of love, prayer, and support we have received from our new church. I hope to post a little more on that soon, so stay tuned!

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10 responses to “Catching up

  1. ewagner123 says:

    Congrats on getting into Grad school! That is great. I’m glad you’re feeling hopeful.

  2. Congrats on getting into grad school!!

    I had crazy periods before my fibroid/endo surgery. Like lots of super tampons in one hour (although mine would last ~5 days). After my surgery I have 4 day periods with not having to use a super tampon some months. It’s awesome! Enjoy your more normal period! :-)

  3. steph50 says:

    Congrats, buddy!! I’m sure things will work out for school! xo

  4. SM says:

    Congrats on grad school, friend! That’s awesome!

  5. You use a Diva cup??? I have really been thinking about getting one! I sewed some mama cloth when my period returned in January, but relying solely on cloth pads leaves me anxious (and soggy.) Do you recommend it?

    • April says:

      I totally recommend it!!

    • Yes, I would highly recommend it! There’s a bit of a learning curve, and it takes awhile to get used to (especially if you have really heavy periods like me), but it is worth it. Now that I’ve used it with a “normal” period, I have no idea why it isn’t more popular.
      Did you use a pattern for your pads? I was thinking about making some back-up panty liners for really heavy days.

  6. April says:

    Yay no more ER trips so far! Yay grad school! Yay normal period!! :)

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