Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

The BFP Plan

on January 4, 2013

Over the past four months, I have thought a lot about what our next steps would be. We came up with a plan to try one more time to get pregnant and stay pregnant without any major tests or treatments. I was really convinced from the beginning that my low progesterone was the problem, so we’re going to give it one more try with the supplements, and I’m as hopeful as I can be about it while still staying sane.

The biggest question I’ve been asking myself lately is, “What do I do when I get that BFP?” After getting pregnant three times, I’m fairly confident that I can get pregnant again if we try hard enough (but I also know not to take anything for granted when it comes to TTC and pregnancy). So I had to come up with a plan, a BFP plan, based off of my last three mc’s. Here’s the general idea:

  • I will not call to make an appointment until I hit six  weeks. I lost my first two pregnancies so early that I never even made it to my first appointment, and with my last pregnancy, I somehow had it in my mind that my baby would be fine if I could just make it to an appointment. Now that I have successfully made it to a first appointment and had two betas, I know the truth: going to see a midwife or OB earlier is not going to keep me from miscarrying. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but calling to cancel three different appointments for three different pregnancies was humiliating, and I don’t want to do it for a fourth time. So to avoid making yet another first appointment to only cancel it, I’m not even going to make an appointment until I am far enough along to hopefully find a heartbeat. 
  • No Betas I thought these would be helpful and enlightening, but all they really did was upset me and stress me out, so I don’t see a reason why I need them. I’m not going to argue if my midwife really wants me to do them, but I’m definitely not asking for them.
  • I will not tell anyone IRL until I see a heartbeat. Whenever I say something like this, people always look shocked and say, “You aren’t going to tell your husband?” I guess I’m the only one who thinks it is implied that I will tell my husband. There is a woman I work with who has some weird sixth sense–she always comes into my office on the day I get a BFP and asks me if I’m pregnant with this knowing look on her face. With my first pregnancy, she asked me before I even knew. Still trying to figure out how I’m going to avoid that because I’m the worst liar ever.
  • Double my progesterone supplements. When I went for my follow-up appointment after my last mc, my midwife said she could increase my progesterone for my next pregnancy, at which point I asked her if it was necessary because my progesterone was within the normal range on during my last pregnancy. She told me it wasn’t necessary but it couldn’t hurt, so I’ve decided that I will increase it to twice a day as suggested once I get a BFP. Why not before? I am very susceptible to medications that make you tired. For example, I cannot take a Benadryl without taking a two hour nap. When I take those supplements at night, I sleep so well because they make me so tired, and the midwife said to take one in the morning and one at night if I choose to take two. I have a boring desk job, and it’s hard enough to stay awake without taking the pill in the mornings, so I’m not going to give up two weeks of productivity until I get a BFP and it’s totally worth it.
  • I will take it easy. Nothing strenuous at all. I’ll get a burly EMT the change to bottle at the water cooler at work instead of doing it myself. I’ll do a lot of sitting around the house. I’ll read a book on my lunch break instead of going for a walk. I’ll love on hubby in ways that don’t involve my pelvis. It’s not permanent–just until I go to the first appointment at get some confirmation that I have a baby that is actually growing and has a heart that’s beating.
  • I’m limiting myself to one HPT every other day.  I don’t want to ban myself from them entirely in case I need some reassurance, but I’m limiting myself so I won’t constantly agonize over the tests. Part of me wants to say that I have to get rid of them after I use them so I can’t obsessively compare them all the time, but I’m trying to be realistic here.

Some of these points are for practicality (Do I really need to pay the copay on another appointment if I’m going to lose it a few days later?); some are to boost baby’s chances (A little more progesterone can’t hurt); and some are to save my sanity (Multiple HPTs a day can’t be mentally healthy). We’ll see how it all plays out once I actually see that second line.

What do you all think? Anything I should add?

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9 responses to “The BFP Plan

  1. Looks good to me!! Keeping calm and keeping sane are big deals!!

  2. ewagner123 says:

    Sticky baby dust to you. I know you’ll get that BFP soon. Good to have a plan once you do.

  3. Kristin says:

    Looks like a good list. I am with you on the betas. They are agonizing. They can be reassuring or devastating, but they aren’t going to prevent a miscarriage. Courtney at Bodega Bliss didn’t make an appointment until after 8 weeks with her fifth and successful pregnancy. I think there is some wisdom in that, especially if you have the supplements you need.

    • I was somehow convinced that they could magically protect my baby, but now that I’ve moved past that illusion, I’m perfectly ok with avoiding them. I’ll have to check out her blog.

  4. steph50 says:

    Your plan could be my plan… I decided not to get Betas next time either. I just keep calculating what the right numbers should be and it stresses me out even more.

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