Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

Periods, TTC again, Reminders, Christmas…

on December 12, 2012

I have a couple different ideas for posts floating around in my head right now, but they are all  being drowned out by a voice that keeps screaming “AHHHHH! You’re taking the GRE tomorrow! AHHHHHH! PANIC!” Yes, the voice in my head is a bit melodramatic. So today is going to be a bullet point kind of day:

  • Thank you ladies for your responses to my previous post. Every time I’ve ever talked to someone about it, I’ve always gotten the, “deal with it, everyone’s period sucks” response, so I guess I didn’t take it as seriously as I should have. Like I said, it wasn’t until very recently that I even realized just how heavy my flow is compared to other women.  So I’m going to make an appointment to talk to my OB about it, and I can’t help but think that maybe figuring out why I have hellish periods will also solve my mc mystery without any “infertility” testing that wouldn’t be covered by insurance. Hey, a girl can hope, can’t she?
  • I am now in my fourth cycle after my last mc, which is the cycle that we had decided to start trying again. Right on time, I am starting to feel the desperate need to TTC. I knew that waiting was right for us the past couple of months because I didn’t want to TTC, and I was afraid of becoming pregnant. If I still felt this way, we would wait another cycle–or however many cycles it took for us to be ready, but I am ready. At least, I’m as ready as I can be. And hubby says that he is ready too, but I am willing to pull the plug as soon as he says that he isn’t.
  • Saturday was the Christmas parade in our town, and hubby’s shop made a float for it. There are only three employees at hubby’s shop: the owner, hubby, and one other mechanic. I think I mentioned before that the other mechanic’s wife found out she was pregnant the same time I did with my first pregnancy, and every time I see her, it’s like getting punched in the stomach. I can’t even hate her because they really wanted children but didn’t think she could get pregnant because she has pretty bad endo, but I still break down and cry every time after I see her. Well, all three employees and their wives were on the float on Saturday and the owner took everyone out to dinner afterward. It was horrible. She looks adorable–just glowing with the cutest baby bump I’ve ever seen. Ugh, I’ve been a bit of a mess ever since. My first due date is in January, and I don’t know if I’m ready for it.
  • My magical Christmas hope has been fading fast. I think the biggest reason is the fact that it has been 60+ degrees here over the past few weeks. At the Christmas parade, people were wearing t-shirts and sandals–it just doesn’t feel like Christmas. Combine that with my GRE stress and the pain of seeing my pregnancy twin still carrying her child, and I’m just not feeling the holiday cheer anymore. A cold front rolled in yesterday, and I’ll be done with the GRE tomorrow, so hopefully that will lift my spirits. Hopefully.

For those who have suffered a loss, how do you handle pregnant women with the same due date as you? Any spells I could cast to make her invisible to me?

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8 responses to “Periods, TTC again, Reminders, Christmas…

  1. steph50 says:

    I want to know if spells exist, too… Ugh. I’m sorry, friend. xox

  2. ewagner123 says:

    I can totally relate to seeing your pregnancy “twin.” Hugs that is so, so hard. My neighbor was pregnant when I m/c’d. I could hardly look at her without crying. I cried SO hard when I found out.. I knew it before she told us and I was bitter at her for “hiding” it. Sigh.

  3. ewagner123 says:

    OMG and good, good luck on the GRE!!!!! I will probably be taking it next year. Haven’t started studying. Let me know how it goes. Have you taken it before? I hate standardized testing. It’s out to get me.

    • This was the first time I’ve taken it, and it was grueling. The best advice I can give is to start studying well in advance–it’s not as bad when you feel prepared. I used a Kaplan GRE book I checked out from the library and it really helped prepare me.

  4. Kristin says:

    I don’t have any spells, but I want to wish you lots of luck on the GRE. I’m sure you will do famously. Best of luck!!

  5. That is a good question. I just miscarried this week and now fear hearing news following Duchess Kate’s pregnancy is going to be super hard cuz she is due around the same time I was.

    • That totally sucks. It’s hard enough to avoid your pregnancy twin when she’s not plastered on every tabloid. I’ll be thinking of you–miscarriage is such terrible thing, but it’s nice to be a part of this blogging community and people who understand.

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