Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

I Need People to Understand This

I know we have all written the post. You know which post I am talking about. The post about the terrible things people say to those who are suffering through infertility or loss. There are particular phrases or sayings that cut us all to the quick, and many times we are left wondering how anyone could think that was a helpful, kind, or even acceptable thing to say to someone who is going through what we are enduring. But there is one that really upsets me and makes me angry, although I never really understood why it affects me the way it does.

Until now.

Oftentimes, well-meaning people will tell me about their friend, mother, grandmother, sister, cousin, etc. who has had a miscarriage, but now they have healthy children. Sometimes the person is speaking about her own story, telling me about how she was able to get pregnant and carry to term after a loss. You would think that I would find this encouraging, and I would receive hope about how I could potentially be telling the same story down the road. But I think I finally understand why this bothers me so much. Almost every time I tell someone about my losses, I am not looking for hope that I will give birth to a child or encouragement that I will one day be a mother.

I’m already a mother.

When I talk about my miscarriages, I am looking for someone to acknowledge my grief and what I have lost. I want someone to understand that I am not solely mourning the fact that we can’t seem to have children right now. It isn’t only about my fertility issues and whether or not I will carry to term and give birth one day. It is about my children. All three of them. It feels like the whole world wants me to just write them off and try again. Like they don’t count. I don’t care how far along I was–you become a parent the moment that second line appears. I have loved them, prayed for them, talked to them, imagined their futures, made plans. I didn’t get to hold them in my my arms, but I sure as hell held them in my heart. I want people to understand that. How do I make them understand that?

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The last of the October Writing Prompts

I had every intention of posting some writing prompts on Monday, but as you all saw, I was a little distraught on Monday. Also, I’m sending good vibes to Jenn because she hasn’t posted since Sandy hit, and I’m worried about her because I think she is wonderful. So here are the last of the prompts:

October 27: Girl or Boy? Given a choice, which would you choose as the sex of your first child?
I honestly do not have a preference. Whenever I start to lean towards one, I immediately think of all the great things about the other. I think I’ve posted before about how I have a hard time picking sides because I can see the positive (and negative) points on both sides, so that also applies here. I do think that I would like the chance to have both, though, if we have more than one. (Haha, look at me: can’t even have one baby and here I am talking about babies) Also, hubby and I decided a long time ago that we do not want to know the gender of our baby until the birth if I ever do get pregnant. That’s right, we are those people.

October 28: What is the meaning of life?
“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” -John Wesley

October 29: Define what you consider cheating. Where do you draw that line?
I think this is different for every relationship. I’m going to have to agree with Stork Chaser–in our relationship, cheating is anything that you have to hide. If I feel like I have violated my husband’s trust in some way, or if I feel like I have to hide something from him, I would consider that cheating.

October 30: Find someone and tell them just how much they mean to you. It can be your spouse, a friend, your mom, a stranger, whoever. Just call tell/text/call/email them right now and tell them what they mean to you.
I do not let a day pass without letting hubby know how much he means to me. It is more important to me than I can say to tell him that I love him–even if we are fighting, even if we are apart, even if that is the only thing I get to say to him all day.
October 31: Post a picture of your Halloween costume. If you didn’t dress up, post a picture of how you spent the evening instead.
We are going to a party on Saturday, so I will try to remember to post a picture.

 

Well, I hope that this month full of writing prompts has taught you something about me, and you still want to be my friends :o) I feel like I just finished some huge accomplishment, and I deserve a cookie or something. Anyway, this is the first of two posts today. I have something that has been pretty heavy on my heart (besides hubby finally admitting how hard this journey has been for him), and I want to let you ladies know about it. But it definitely deserves its own post. So be on the lookout.

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How many times can my heart break before it can’t be pieced back together?

I have been getting better. I really have. I’ve been dealing with things in what I consider to be a healthy way, and I’ve seen progress. At least I’m not collapsing on the floor in tears anymore or taking multiple showers a day (when I’m really upset, I take a shower). I’m not sleeping great, but I like to attribute that to living in the allergy capital of the country. I’m dealing and moving on and not constantly thinking about babies or my inability to grow them. I’m getting better.

Or at least, I was.

This is really hard for me to talk about, but I’m going to channel Belle from Scrambled Eggs who really inspires me with her openness. Lately she has written quite a few posts and prefaced them with a paragraph about how hard they are to write, but she always comes back saying how glad she is that she opened up. And, honestly, who else am I going to talk to about this? So here goes nothing: hubby and I have had a problem. A sexy problem. I’ve noticed a major decline in how often we have sex. Not only that, I’ve noticed that I am the only one who initiates it, and nine times out of ten, hubby politely declines my come ons. I’ve talked to him about it a few times, but he always says that he is very tired from working full time and doing fire academy or he isn’t feeling well or some other excuse and I always feel like he is avoiding telling me something. This has been going on for a couple of months, and it has taken a major toll on my self esteem. I miss the emotional connection that comes from sex, so I started getting braver and putting myself out there a lot more, but this extra effort didn’t work which left me feeling even worse because I was trying so hard to seduce my husband and getting rejected. I was starting to wonder if he still found me sexually attractive or if my *ahem* performance left something to be desired because, let’s be honest, what guy turns down head every time? So last night when we went to bed I asked him, again, what’s going on, and I wasn’t stopping until I got the truth. And I got it. And it broke my heart. Here is the general idea of the conversation, after much back and forth:

Hubby: I just haven’t really been in the mood lately.

Me: Why?

Hubby: I didn’t want to talk to you about it because I knew it would upset you.

Me: Well, I’m already upset and now you have to tell because I know something is wrong.

Hubby: Well, I just haven’t been in the mood because I’ve been sad.

Me: What do you mean? Why?

Hubby: Because everyone is having babies.

***Very long pause***

Me: You don’t want to have sex with me because you’re upset about the fact that we can’t have a baby right now?

Hubby: Yeah. I try, but whenever we start to get in the mood, I think about babies and I don’t want to do it anymore. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would upset you and it’s my job to take care of you and help you not be upset.

So many bloggers have said that their breaking point was seeing their fertility issues upsetting their hubbies, and now I understand. I hate this so much. And I have no idea how to handle it. I can just feel my heart breaking over and over again. I keep going back and forth between feeling completely devastated and feeling numb. Tears keep brimming every few minutes at work, and I can’t really think about anything else. Yesterday (before this monumental conversation), I shredded some cheese for hubby’s chili when we discovered that we only had block cheese and he said, “What would I do without you little wifey?” and I think I said, “Well, you would be cheeseless, wouldn’t you?” but what I was thinking was, “You would probably have a baby.” I didn’t realize at the moment just how spot on I was. I know it’s not fair to beat myself up like this, but I am feeling so lost. I don’t know how to even begin dealing with this.

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Writing Prompts!

October 23: What are you most envious of?
Apart from the obvious answer about women who are fertile and grow babies like they are supposed to, I would have to say that I am often envious of people who are really organized. Sometimes (actually, a lot of times), I walk into other people’s houses and I instantly feel ashamed at the fact that their house is so much more tidy and organized than mine. Our house is usually a disaster. Seriously. Hubby and I are the messiest people I know. We aren’t dirty–I clean often, but we leave stuff everywhere and sometimes I forget what color the carpet is in our room because I haven’t seen it in so long. I think it’s funny because I’ve had multiple friends tell me how much they love coming to our house because it feels “lived in,” which is a nice way of pointing out how it is not immaculate like their houses. I feel a little embarrassed to admit this, and I feel like it is stupid for this to be the thing I’m envious of, but there it is.

October 24: What are you thankful/grateful for today?
I am thankful for playfulness. Last night, hubby and I did something we haven’t done in a long time: we wrestled. I know what you are thinking, and I swear this is not code for something kinky, hubby and I actually love to wrestle each other. Every once in awhile when we get into bed, one of us will pounce the other one, and we will wrestle and try to pin one another until:
1) One of us wins by pinning the the other’s shoulders down until the count of three
2) One of us is injured (it’s never anything serious, usually a pulled muscle)
3) We are both too exhausted to carry on and call a truce
One thing you have to realize is that hubby is 6’4″ 220lbs and I’m 5’3″ 130lbs, but I’m a whole lot stronger than I look so I hold my own fairly well and usually win as often as he does. I know it’s a weird thing to be thankful for, but I just love it when we play together. When we wrestle, there is a lot of laughter and stress relief and fun, and I am so, so thankful that I married my best friend who I get to be silly with and play with.

October 25: Post a picture of what you look like first thing in the morning side by side with a picture of you ready to start your day. I will try to remember to take a morning picture so that I can show you all this, but it’s honestly not that exciting. Don’t hate me, but the pictures would look almost identical apart from the fact that I will look very sleepy in one–mostly because I don’t wear any makeup and I have magically wonderful hair that pretty much always cooperates, even when I first wake up.

October 26: What is your favorite activity to do by yourself?
I work next to a river, and every day that the weather cooperates, I walk about a half a mile to my favorite spot by the river and sit during my hour-long lunch break. Many days I will take my Bible to read and do devotions, but sometimes I don’t take anything and just sit and stare out at the river. Sometimes I pray, sometimes I fall asleep (I set an alarm on my phone), sometimes I just sit and stare at the water, but it is the best part of my work day.

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Being Sickly, and Writing Prompts

Hello ladies! Sorry to be MIA for a few days–I really haven’t felt that great. I’ve been dealing with allergy/sinus gunk which leads to headaches, back tension, general miserableness. I actually stayed home from work yesterday because I had a migraine and felt achy. Today is, thankfully, better, but I still feel like I’m on the edge of being sick–like letting myself get a little dehydrated or something will push me over the edge into another migraine. Bleh. Oh well. Also, I’m a little freaked out because I’ve been spotting for a few days. The only time I can ever remember spotting midcycle, I was pregnant, and I’m fairly certain that is not the case this cycle because we have been actively preventing pregnancy. I know your cycles and stuff can be completely different once you have a pregnancy or miscarriage, but it’s weird to have my body behaving differently than it normally does. Any other RPLers out there that have had something like this happen? It would be nice to know I’m not the only one whose body does weird things after having a few mc’s, and to be honest, I just don’t have the emotional strength right now to Google it.

I was going to use this post to get completely caught up on the writing prompts, but I think I will answer three today and three tomorrow. You know, spread the love over two days:

 

October 20: Tell us a little something about your grandmother.
My grandmother was an amazing woman. She died when I was a senior in college, and I still miss her like crazy. She loved to cook and sew–one of my most prized possessions is a quilt she made for me when I started college. She always cried when we left her house after we visited. When I was younger, I thought it was silly and embarrassing, and when I was older I pretty much ignored it because I was so used to it. Now I miss it.

 
October 21: Are you satisfied with your sex life? Would you like more, less, or is it just right?
I would have to say that I’m pretty satisfied with the sex that we are having, but I wish we would have sex more. We always seem to be super busy, so are we are both exhausted all the time, which makes it hard to muster up the energy for a good tumble.

 
October 22: Favorite sexual position?
I feel like this is a good time to tell you ladies that I blush very easily. I don’t have a problem talking about sex or other taboo topics, but I will turn very red sometimes. I just thought you should know that I started blushing as I thought about what I should put down as my answer ;o) I’d have to say that I really enjoy being on top, because that is the position where it is the easiest for me to have a orgasm, but I really like it when hubby goes down on me, which he is usually eager to do because he knows I like it.

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Feeling a little Horrible

Three posts in one day. I feel a little like an over achiever–like I should be quiet and let the other kids talk. Anyway, my first two posts were prompted, and I wanted to let loose a little and tell you ladies about my day:

Today was a bit of a rough day. It wasn’t positively horrible, but it was a little rough. I work in the office of an EMS service and my office (which is shared with one other girl) is essentially a hallway, so we always have EMTs and medics walking through. We have two chairs we have deemed the “therapy chairs” because so many of the crews will come in and visit with us. Most of the people who work in the office can be a little hateful and the crews avoid them, so it makes me happy that they like us enough to visit. Today one of the EMTs came into my office very excited and looking a little freaked out, and when I asked him what was up, he exclaimed that he is going to be a dad. Exact words: “I’m going to be a dad.” When I asked him how far along she was, he said she was only a few weeks, that she had just found out that day. My heart skipped a beat and it took all of the self control I possess not to shout, “Wait! No! Don’t tell anyone! You still have no idea if she is going to have a baby!” I couldn’t bring myself to pop his bubble and bring him into my world. I couldn’t tell him that a positive pregnancy test isn’t a guarantee of a child. I couldn’t tell him the one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. I couldn’t tell him that he may have to go back and tell every one of those people that he is no longer going to be a dad. He doesn’t understand, and I know that because I didn’t understand either. My mind went to two different places, and neither of them were very nice. First, I thought that he will understand one day when his wife has a miscarriage and he has to deal with all of the crap that we’ve dealt with–when he sees that he’s not really going to be a dad and the universe is just playing a cruel joke on him. Then I felt really horrible. Could I really think that? Automatically assume that the pregnancy won’t last and he’ll be in the same babyless boat I’m in? I felt a little disgusted with myself, and then I thought, “No, he’s going to have a baby. Why would anyone else have problems carrying children? Just me. I’m the only one who has to keep my pregnancies a secret and be filled with fear when I get a BFP. He’s going to have a baby just like all the rest of those stupid, smug fertile people that have no idea how amazing of a feat they are accomplishing. I hate them all.” This is what my loss has done to me. I am a horrible person.

I can’t remember where I read it (I think it was survivingbabydreams), but a few months ago, I read a blog post where she talked about automatically judging whether someone was “worthy” when you hear they are pregnant. How long did they try? Did they have to do any treatments? Did they suffer any mc’s in the process? Or are they one of the annoying fertiles who just decide they want a baby, have sex, have a positive test, then have a baby–all in a ten month time span? The thing is, I don’t even know this EMTs TTC story. I just assumed that they hadn’t had any trouble or suffering at all because if they did, he wouldn’t be announcing her 3 week pregnancy. I just assumed that they did not meet the standards of being “worthy” of having kids.

I am one of those people who is genuinely happy for others when they announce something exciting. At least, I was. I’m upset because I feel like this journey has stolen that from me. Now when I learn someone is pregnant, I either pity her because she could have a mc like me or I feel bitter towards her because she can have children when I can’t, and I always resent her for reminding me of my pain. Ugh, this post is turning out to be even more bitter than I thought it would. I just feel like a horrible person sometimes, and I wish it would stop. I wish I could just be innocently happy for people again.

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October Writing Prompts Super Duper Catch up!

October 11: If you could change one thing about your personal appearance, what would it be and why?
I know this sounds a little shallow, but I would really like for my boobs to be bigger. I know that all of you well endowed ladies out there are shaking your heads at me right now, but I promise I don’t want ginormous boobs. In fact, I would just be happy to get my birth control boobs back because they shrank considerably after I quit taking it. Beyond that, I think it would be nice to be a little taller. Hubby is over a foot taller than me and sometimes I think it would be nice to be able to do stuff like dance cheek to cheek. Or not have to hem/roll up all of my pants when I wear them.

 

October 12: If you could change on thing about your personality, what would it be and why.
I think it would be nice to stop being such a perfectionist. I tend to put things off and never get anything done because it has to be perfect. It makes even simple things like cleaning the house or typing up blog posts difficult.

 

October 13: What is the one thing you like best about yourself?
Why is it so hard to say something nice about yourself? I like to think that I’m very encouraging to my husband and friends. I just care so much about people, and I love to celebrate with them and care for them when they are having difficulties. I guess that’s why I enjoy this community so much.

Physically, I love my hair. It is dirty blonde and straight as a board. I usually let it air dry and never use product in it beyond shampoo and conditioner, and it always looks nice. It’s perfect for me because I’m too lazy to do my hair every day.

 

October 14: What is the greatest compliment you ever received?
Growing up, my mother constantly told me how selfish I was. I remember having a bad day when I was a kid and asking my mom for a hug and she said no, that I didn’t actually want to hug her, that I only wanted a hug to make myself feel better. And people wonder why I’ve had issues with the idea of becoming a mother. Anyway, it was an extremely hurtful part of my childhood that I don’t think ever really left me, but I have grown and realized that I was not actually an extremely selfish child–I just had a mother who usually blamed me for wanting things that every child wants (like attention and affection from my parents). I’m telling you this so that my answer to this question will make more sense. When I was studying in Germany, I had people over to my apartment all the time. I loved to make dinner and share it with a friend. One day, I had a friend over and I was giving her some of my latest grocery store discoveries to try, and she told me that I was the most sharing person she had ever met. As someone who was told her entire life how selfish she is, that comment touched me in ways my friend will never know.

 

October 15: If you could go back in time, what decade would you choose to live in?
I am constantly told that I was born in the wrong time and I should have been this age during the 80’s. I think this is a reflection of my clothes, the music I listen to, etc. I sometimes think it would be cool to live in Victorian England, but when I actually think about it, that would probably not be so awesome. There is something to be said for women’s rights and indoor plumbing.

 

October 16: A little TMI? Share something you never thought you would ever post on the internet.
No idea what to write here–mostly because I want to write something really good, but I’m at a loss for something really juicy. I mean, this is a blog about TTC, miscarriages, and (hopefully one day) pregnancy, so there isn’t much that’s off limits here and I post some stuff that I consider TMI all the time. How about I just try to continue to be open and type things that are relevant to my posts even if they are a little mortifying?

 
October 17: How would you describe your personal style?
I’m not really sure how to answer this question. My favorite thing to wear would be jeans and a soft long-sleeved t-shirt, and I wear this as often as I can get away with it. In fact, that is what I am wearing right now because it is casual Friday. I own multiple pairs of high top Converses and Chacos. My shoe collection is pretty limited to those two things plus a few pairs of boots  (I actually wore a pair of white Converses with “Mrs. (insert married name here)” embroidered on them in our wedding). In the summer, I wear a lot of dresses and skirts because I hate shorts. I don’t like the way they look on me, and I don’t think they are comfortable. I get a lot of comments because I usually wear my skirts and dresses with my high top Converses which people either think is the cutest thing they’ve ever seen or tacky as hell. I’m pretty minimalist when it comes to accessories (although I am really starting to love scarves) and I almost never wear makeup. Also, I would say that at least 60% of my wardrobe is blue, which hubby likes to tease me about. I hope that paints a good picture for you!

 
October 18: Make an acrostic of your first name (or pseudonym) using each letter to describe yourself.
Dancing (I love to and I’m not very good at it)
Always worrying :o/
Nice
Intelligent
Encouraging
Loving
Little
Enthusiastic

 
October 19: What is your favorite quote?
Ooooo, I have a few:

(This on varies a little depending on the translation you read): “You are a thoroughly earnest and sincere man. This is your strength and your limitation. You are thoroughly earnest and sincere and you want all life to be earnest and sincere too, but it never is” -Anna Karenina

“I want to live my life so I’ll be able to read an in-depth biography about myself in later years and not puke” -Paris from Gilmore Girls

“You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suite me” -C.S. Lewis

 

Hopefully I’ll be better about keeping up with these the rest of the month, and I won’t have to post as ton of them at one time anymore!

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IF Bloggers Book Club: Hind’s Feet on High Places

When I got the results of my second beta during my last pregnancy, I was devastated. The next day I went to a good friend’s house, and she hugged me and asked how I was doing. That was all it took for me to basically collapse on her floor and sit and sob and pour my heart out for a very long time with her and two of her friends. I was a little embarrassed, but I’m glad it happened because it was very healing to open up to someone besides hubby, and it was so nice to have them validate my feelings and encourage me without giving me any lines about “what is meant to be” or any other bullshit like that. Anyway, my friend then handed me this book and told me I need to read it–she even said I could keep it:

This is an allegory about Much Afraid and her journey to the High Places to be with the Shepherd. Before I tell you anything else about this book, I have to make a confession. It’s something that might be obvious to those who know me, but it’s hard to admit and I’m willing to bet some of you reading this blog could confess the same thing: I’m a wallower. I wallow in self-pity, sadness, pain. I’m really bad at letting stuff go, and I would usually rather just be miserable. Because I’m a wallower, anything that encourages me to move on, heal, etc. usually pisses me off. Having said that, this book did not piss me off, and it actually helped me immensely. It is so full of love, and it presents huge concepts in such simple terms making it easier for me to relate to them. So it technically could be a light, simplistic read, but if you choose to really read into it and see the deeper meanings, it can be pretty heavy. There were many times that I had to put it down and just absorb what I had just read. There were also times that I had to put it down and just cry for awhile. It is a beautiful book, and I plan on reading it again and again. I’m sure it’s not for everyone, but I recommend giving it a try.

Make sure you go and check out these other bloggers and their book posts!

Songs and Sonnets

Return to Go

Dog Mom Chasing the Stork

Future Fords

If you want to participate in the IF Bloggers Book Club this next month, either comment on this post with the book/books you want to read or send me an email (catchingourrainbow@gmail.com) letting me know. I will put up a post next week with the participants. I’m thinking the “due date” for the posts will be November 16. Let me know if that’s a problem.

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A much needed and fun vacation, and a new life plan

Hello! I’m sorry I haven’t written in awhile–I’ve just been so distracted. I know I have a bunch of October writing prompts to catch up on, but I want to tell you all about what has been going on first. I’ll start by telling you about my wonderful weekend! I took a vacation day from work on Friday and spent Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in Nashville at the Southern Festival of Books. It was wonderful. I was surrounded by authors and people who truly care about books and reading, and it really reminded me about what is important to me and my passion. I also got to feel very strong and self-sufficient because I went alone, and I didn’t have hubby to lean on for directions or anything. Solitary travel isn’t something I have gotten to experience since I was in Germany, and I had forgotten how much I actually enjoy it. I stayed with a friend from college who lives in Murfreesboro, and it was so much fun to hang out and catch up–plus we went to a beer fest on Saturday night which was really fun. The best part? I got to meet Katherine Paterson, who is my favorite children’s author! For those of you who don’t know who she is, she wrote The Bridge to TerabithaThe Great Gilly HopkinsJacob Have I Loved, and loads of other awesome books. She is basically amazing.

Another great thing about going to this festival is that it really motivated me. I remember now just how much I love literature, and how much I love to learn. I always wanted to work in a college as a professor, and my original plan was to go the grad school and get my doctorate in order to teach at the collegiate level. Life, however, got in the way of that plan. This trip was just the kick start that I needed, and while I can’t give up 5-7 years of my life to a doctoral program right now, I have decided that I am going to go back to school. I’m applying to the Masters program at the local university! I’m so excited that we are finally in a place where this can happen because I love going to school: class discussions, reading books I would have never thought to read, learning about things that matter to me, I could go on for quite awhile.

So now I am spending my time working on my application, asking for letters of recommendation, studying for the GRE, editing out an excerpt from my thesis for my writing sample, working on my statement of purpose, etc. The deadline is January 15th, which seems like a long time from now, but it doesn’t leave me a lot of time to study for and take to GRE. I’m still too excited to start freaking out, but I’m sure that will come soon :o)

On an IF/loss note: I have officially finished my first AF post-miscarriage. I has definitely given me a feeling of “moving on” which is great in some ways and very sad in others. Today I saw a picture of the girl who found out she was pregnant at the same time I  found out about my first pregnancy. She’s 27 weeks. Broke. My. Heart. I’m excited about where my life is going right now, but I’m homesick for my children that I will never meet. I’ve accepted it, but I am still so sad. At the book festival, there was someone dressed up as Clifford to celebrate his “birthday,” and some kids were singing happy birthday to him with their moms. I had to walk by very quickly because it made me cry. One day at a time.

I promise I will catch up with you some more soon!

Also, the posts for the IF Bloggers Book Club is “due” Friday. Is that ok with everyone, or do you need another week?

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October Writing Prompts Catch Up

October 6: Who is your current favorite band?
I listen to just about every genre but country (I really despise country music), and I don’t know if I could choose a favorite band because I love so many of them. Lately I’ve really been digging Mumford and Sons. I bought their new CD and listened to it on repeat in my car for a week straight, so I guess that qualifies them as a current favorite.

October 7: If you could sleep with any celebrity, who would it be?
I always joke with hubby about this, and he knows my list. I think it’s funny that my entire list started out as teenage heart throbs.  And here it is:

1. Matt Damon This man is some serious eye candy–especially in the Bourne movies. I love pretty much every movie that he is in.


2. Leonardo DiCaprio This crush goes way back. I remember swooning over him when I was in elementary school and I saw him on the TV show Growing Pains. When I am telling someone about a movie, I even use phrases like “My boy Leo is in it”

Mark Wahlberg Pics
3. Mark Wahlberg He was added to my list after I saw The Fighter.  Watch it.

Needless to say, The Departed is one of my all time favorite movies because it has all three of them in it :o)

October 8: If you could have any job in the whole wide world regardless of your qualifications, what would you choose and why?
This is an easy one. When I was living in Germany, I used a budget travel book, “Let’s Go! Germany.” It was amazingly helpful, and I saw/did some stuff I would never have known about if I hadn’t bought this book. Apparently, there are people who travel around countries staying at different hostels/hotels, eating at different restaurants, seeing different attractions, etc. to research for travel books. They get paid to do this. Dream job.

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Bit of Earth Farm

Raising plants and animals in simple partnership with nature.

Laura Grace Weldon

Free Range Learning, Creative Living, Gentle Encouragement, Big Questions, Poetry, Occasional Drollery

A Woman Like That

...I have been her kind.

Our Egg, Her Nest?

My journey to Motherhood through gestational surrogacy

Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Stepping Stones

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Sabine Daily

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

My Perfect Breakdown

-- Surviving. Living. Hoping. -- Recurrent Pregnancy Loss & Adoption

THE RIVER WALK

Daily Thoughts and Meditations as we journey together with our Lord.

Recurrently Lost

My honest account of life with recurrent pregnancy loss

Caring for Crohn's & UC

Caring for a loved one with Crohn's Disease & Ulcerative Colitis

my german life:

an american girl in hamburg

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Stories of a Son

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Eighteenyears's Blog

Just another WordPress.com site

IBDaily

The tales of a girl with unruly guts.

SocialJerk

Because writing about social work can be funny, too! (Sorry Precious)

No Air Radio

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Growing Globe

"I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness." - Carl Sandburg

lamenting the lentil

unexplained infertility, twin pregnancy, and me

tales from the waiting room

Just another IF blog

The Moon on a Stick

Infertility and all that jazz.

The Stolen Colon | Living beautifully with an ostomy

Stephanie Hughes | This blog is my way of connecting with the world about living with an ostomy and Crohn's disease.