Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

A Confession (and a little math)

on August 14, 2012

Remember how I said hubby and I weren’t going to TTC this month? And I was at peace with that?

Well, on Friday I noticed some EWCM, and that evening I got a positive OPK. Why is this significant? First, any woman who has dealt with fertility issues knows how hard it is to know that you are ovulating and not do anything about it–especially when you are going to try a new drug once you get back on the TTC wagon. So that little smiley face on my OPK was awfully tempting, but it wasn’t just tempting, it was also a little disconcerting. Why? Before my first mc, my cycles were 32 days long with ovulation on day 21, so they were already a little longer than the average cycle. Longer cycles=longer to wait and less opportunities per year to get pregnant. Four days doesn’t seem like a long time, but in a year’s time, a 32 day cycle means that I will have almost two full cycles fewer a year than a woman with the average 28 day cycles. And my cycles seem to be getting longer after my mc’s. My first cycle after my mc’s was 38 days long. When I ovulated this weekend, I was on day 25. This means  instead of being a few days away from my next cycle like a “normal” woman, I was two weeks from my next cycle. So at the rate I’m going, I still have five or six weeks that I have to wait before I ovulate again. Once I realized this, all of that calm and zen just went out the window. Seriously.

We were planning on waiting two cycles to TTC again, but when you do the math, two average cycles would be 56 days. With my crazy long cycles, it has already been 61 days. So even if we haven’t waited two cycles, we have waited the average length of two cycles. The main reasons we were waiting (allowing my iron counts to go back up to normal, giving us some time to emotionally deal with our loss, etc.) depend on time not cycles, so I feel satisfied that this was a long enough wait. So here is my confession: we have officially tried this cycle. We had a fun weekend trying to make a little baby, and I started my progesterone supplements last night. Now I’m crossing my fingers and hoping, hoping, hoping that this is our month, but I’m also trying to stay realistic. Statistically, we have a 25% chance of conceiving when we are doing everything right. So now that I’m trying the progesterone, we have a 1 in 4 chance of conceiving, assuming that there is nothing else wrong. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: how the heck do women get pregnant by accident?!?!?!

So there you have it. We are officially in our TWW (what? more waiting?). Everyone keep your fingers crossed and say a little prayer for hubby and me.

-Danielle

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5 responses to “A Confession (and a little math)

  1. storkchaser says:

    kmfc!!! i completely understand…we’re hoping for an “accident” this month. ;)

    • I just had to smile when I read “accident” :) Hey, it works for everyone else, right? Why shouldn’t you get to have an accident baby?

      Side note: a girl I work with told me about how she got pregnant with her second by accident while on birth control. Seriously? We should have a better chance than her!

      I’ll definitely be thinking of you this month.

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