Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

Patient care: OBGYN vs. Midwife

on August 3, 2012

When hubby and I decided to have a baby, I already knew that I wanted to have an unmedicated birth with a midwife. There were a lot of reasons behind this decision, and my experiences with trying to conceive and my miscarriages have done nothing but reinforce them.

Remember this post, where I talked about my appointment with my OBGYN? I’ve always liked him because he is so charismatic, and he never fails to makes me feel comfortable, which is definitely important when someone is checking out your lady parts. While he was talking to us that day, I instantly felt better, all of my concerns just melting away. After that appointment, however, I realized that he never actually listened to anything that I said. After we left the office, I decided that his charisma did not make up for the fact that he turned a deaf ear to me.

Fast forward to my first miscarriage and an absolutely horrible ER experience. I called the birth center when I started spotting that day, and they told me to go to the ER to get checked out because their sonographer was booked solid. While we were at the ER, I had extremely painful cramps and started bleeding heavily. I am convinced that my doctor had no OB training because she kept saying things that were incorrect (like saying that it looked like I was only one week pregnant, when there is no such thing as one week pregnant or telling me I needed a shot of RhoGAM because I have a negative blood type, even after I told her my husband is also A-). Every time I would try to talk to her, she would say, “uh…let me go check something” and disappear. They never talked to me about any of the tests, they just ran all of them–carting me around like an invalid and never bothering to ask me what I wanted. Out of everyone I dealt with that night, only one nurse actually treated me like a person.

When I had my second miscarriage, I knew exactly what was happening and what to expect, so I stayed home. I had my first prenatal appointment at the birth center the next day, so I went and spoke to the midwife about our journey and my concerns. The difference between talking to my OBGYN and talking to my midwife was like night and day. Linda sat with me, asking me lots of questions and truly listening to my answers. I told her about our trouble getting pregnant, both of my miscarriages, my cycles and charts, and my suspicions about having low progesterone. Linda listened and showed concern for me as a person, asking me not only about the medical aspects of our journey, but also my emotional health and how I was coping with everything. Before she did anything, she always made sure to ask me if I was comfortable with it. For example, when I told her needles make me cry, she assured me that they didn’t have to take blood, but she believed that the results might help us find out if something serious was wrong with me. It really caught me off guard–I had never been treated like I was in control of my care. Linda agreed with me that it sounded like I was having progesterone issues, and she wrote me a prescription, recommending that we prevent for 2-3 cycles before we try again, making it very clear that this was only her recommendation and I should do what made me comfortable.

The entire time I was in the ER and people kept talking about me instead of to me, I kept thinking “This is the exact reason I do not want to give birth in hospital, I want to be treated like a person, not a patient.” My experience at the birth center was the exact opposite, and I knew from the time I started talking to Linda that this was the right place for me. I knew that I wanted to be in the care of a woman like Linda whenever I give birth.  Now I just have to get pregnant and stay pregnant so I can have that experience!

Did anyone else have a less than desirable experience with an OBGYN or hospital? Has anyone else fallen in love with midwives?



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Bit of Earth Farm

Raising plants and animals in simple partnership with nature.

Laura Grace Weldon

Free Range Learning, Creative Living, Gentle Encouragement, Big Questions, Poetry, Occasional Drollery

A Woman Like That

...I have been her kind.

Our Egg, Her Nest?

My journey to Motherhood through gestational surrogacy

Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Stepping Stones

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Sabine Daily

This site is the bee's knees

My Perfect Breakdown

-- Surviving. Living. Hoping. -- Recurrent Pregnancy Loss & Adoption


Daily Thoughts and Meditations as we journey together with our Lord.

Recurrently Lost

My honest account of life with recurrent pregnancy loss

Caring for Crohn's & UC

Caring for a loved one with Crohn's Disease & Ulcerative Colitis

my german life:

an american girl in hamburg

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Stories of a Son

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Eighteenyears's Blog

Just another site


The tales of a girl with unruly guts.


Because writing about social work can be funny, too! (Sorry Precious)

No Air Radio

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm...

Growing Globe

"I am a pal of the world: I came from the wilderness." - Carl Sandburg

lamenting the lentil

unexplained infertility, twin pregnancy, and me

tales from the waiting room

Just another IF blog

The Moon on a Stick

Infertility and all that jazz.

%d bloggers like this: