Catching Our Rainbow

Hoping for a rainbow after the storm…

Waiting

on July 26, 2012

I feel like I have so much to say, but when I sit down in front of the computer, it is so overwhelming that I go blank. I guess I’ll start with what I’ve been struggling with the most lately: waiting. I’m sure every couple that has struggled having a baby will agree that there is so much waiting involved, and sometimes it can be downright intolerable. Every cycle is a waiting game. First, you wait for af to end (af=aunt flo, for help with all of the abbreviations, visit this site: http://www.babycenter.com/community-help-abbreviations). Then, you wait to ovulate. Then you wait for your next af. If you are having difficulty getting pregnant, most OBGYNs say you have to wait a year before they will run tests. If you have a mc, you have to wait a certain amount of time before you can start trying again. Some women find out that their babies aren’t growing and have to wait to pass them naturally. If you have multiple mc’s, most OBGYNs say you have to wait until you have three mc’s before they will run tests.

Like I said, there is a lot of waiting.

I am one of the most impatient people I know. Seriously. There is quite possibly nothing I hate more than being forced to wait. In May 2011, hubby and I decided to try to start a family, which was a big deal because I never wanted children. I was never one of those girls who dreamed of getting married and having children, and while all the other girls were cooing over babies, I was cringing. I honestly cannot tell you what changed my mind, but my baby clock went off and I knew that I wanted to be a mother. But we had to wait. We didn’t have health insurance and couldn’t start TTC until I found a full time job, and once I did, we had to wait for the insurance to kick in. Then we started trying in August of 2011, and after 9 months of impatient waiting that only ended in disappointment, I finally got that positive test in May. But then I had two mc’s in a row, and we are preventing for two cycles before we can try again.

So that’s where we are now. I just started my second cycle post mc, so we are waiting for my next af so we can start trying again. It is so frustrating to wait when I feel like I’ve been waiting forever, and I might possibly have to solution to our baby problem. I have a lot of hope that the progesterone will help, but I’m trusting my midwife (more about the wonderful midwife who prescribed me the progesterone in a later post, I promise) and waiting those two cycles so that my body can heal. To be completely honest, I am a little relieved that the pressure is off for a couple of months–my heart just can’t take more disappointment right now, and for two months, I don’t have to worry about negative HPTs or possible losses.

Did any of you struggle with waiting when you were TTC? I’ve heard some women say waiting to ovulate is worse than the 2ww–do you agree? Have you had to take time off from TTC at any point?

-Danielle

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3 responses to “Waiting

  1. Alyssa says:

    I’m struggling with waiting to even start TTC. Waiting for test results, waiting for jobs…you’re right it does seem like a perpetual state of waiting, and it sucks!

  2. Kelly says:

    Yes! The waiting is the worst part for me. Just like you, I never wanted kids. For some reason, when I fell in love with my husband, it clicked. He made me want babies! Haha. I wanted to wait to start ttc until we were married, so there was the 6 month wait. We threw out the BC the month of our wedding because we figured it would take a while. Little did we know I was 2 weeks pregnant on our wedding day. We found out on our honeymoon and we were elated! But, when we went for our first ultrasound at 10 weeks, we were crushed to find out our baby had died around 8 weeks. Then the wait to heal, the waiting each month trying…We were pregnant again. The waiting seemed even longer this time to me because we decided not to tell anyone. I miscarried again in May at 7 weeks & 5 days. Then the whole wait again. This is the first month we’ve actively ttc again and this has been the LONGEST 2WW ever! The soonest I can test is Monday. Like you, they will be putting me on progesterone this time. My doctor DID NOT make me wait for 3 MC before testing. he gave me the option to run any tests I wanted and I did it all. There is nothing wrong. So, I’m putting a lot of stock and hope into the progesterone. I wish you the best & hopefully the waiting won’t last too much longer…

    • I’m so sorry for your losses, and I hope this is your month! I’m glad you had a good experience with your doctor–it is great to feel like someone listens to you and to get tests done for your peace of mind. I know multiple women that were told they had to wait until 3 mc’s which I think is ridiculous. Hopefully the progesterone will make a difference–for both of us. Sticky baby dust to you!

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